“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.” - Rupi Kaur

I hung out at the pool today with Kaitlin and Rylee for a few hours. It was like balm to my wounded soul. ❤️

After the first hour, Rylee was standing in front of me, and the sun had brought out the few freckles she’s got on her nose. I LOVE HER FRECKLES!! I looked at her and said “Look at how dark and cute those freckles are in the sun!” She was ALL smiles, we hugged, and then she went on chattering away.

And then I thought about me. See, it takes all of like 10 minutes of me standing in the sun for my gajillions of freckles to stand out on my pale skin, screaming to be noticed.

I’ve used various foundations, but without fail, that sun just won’t let them hide. I’m really self-conscious about them.

I used to be called four-eyed, freckle-face. I refused to wear my glasses for years because of that, so I at least was reduced to just freckle-face.

I learned to hate them.

My mom loved them. I can remember laying in bed with her and crying about my stupid freckles. She told me where they came from and why they were so special.

She didn’t tell me anything about genetics. She said every freckle that I have is the imprint of an angel’s kiss. That I had angels watching over me and they would kiss me when I slept. Each freckle represented one of those kisses.

Secretly, I loved my freckles because of this. And considering the number of miracles and tender mercies I’ve experienced in my life, that are clear evidences of angels taking care of me, it’s absolutely possible each freckle represents one of those angels.

I still always hated how I felt they made me look.

But I love my Rylee and my oldest child’s, Chandler’s, freckles. How can I prevent Rylee from growing up and hating how her freckles make her look when she hears me, her mom, say how my freckles make me look ugly?

I can’t. Her brain is still telling her that everything she hears and sees is truth.

So, today I decided to embrace and love every single one of my angel kisses.

And like every day, I am ending the day with a profound level of gratitude that I have learned, and continue to learn, about how to rise above my past.