“Giving up is conceding that things will never get better, and that is just not true. Ups and downs are a constant in life, and I've been belted into that roller coaster a thousand times.” - Aimee Mullins

Broken:

Exactly one year ago I felt broken. Broken beyond repair. I had been introduced to Rare Faith about a year before that and was actively learning about mindset techniques and how to truly rely on and act in faith. In doing so, I followed a prompting to uproot my small family and move them across the country (from Arizona) to a tiny little town in Southwestern Iowa. The ONLY people I had close by were my husband’s mom, brother, and sister (all of whom I love dearly and who have been my rocks).

Almost immediately after arriving, everything started falling apart around me. Because I could not doubt the miracles that had brought me here, my only conclusion was that I was the problem. I believed I was broken, and that even God Himself could no longer do anything more with what was left of me.

I wanted to die. Truly. I prayed for it daily. I scared my husband enough that the county sheriff’s department came to check on me not once, but twice. I had to think quickly and say exactly what needed to be said in order to not be hauled off to a mental hospital. That was a game I knew exactly how to play.

Somehow, I kept pushing forward. I refused to let my past continue to influence my future. The road wasn’t easy, and it was filled with setbacks, obstacles, and pain. However, each day I chose to put one foot in front of the other. And today? Exactly one year later?……

Yesterday I returned home from completing my training to be a Rare Faith Program Facilitator. That was no small feat. Today, I am surrounded by love and have an abundance of friends and family that never gave up on me. I can find peace in the chaos—and I am closer to my Father in Heaven than I have ever been before. Ever.

I had privately made a promise to God to remain rooted in joy, but then on the last day of training, I was encouraged to publicly yell from a microphone, in front of a room full of my peers, that I am committed to finding joy in the journey! THAT is not something I could have imagined I would have ever done before!

What I have learned is that nothing I have experienced has been random. ALL things truly have been for my good, including the “down” times. My job, so to speak, is to simply recognize that there is a time and a season—a rhythm in life—for everything. When things feel bleak or heavy, riding the natural wave rather than fighting against it brings me peace.

Stephanie Bennett-Henry said “There was that broken year, on that broken road, with that broken me, and thank goodness I’m not on that road anymore, but I still reminisce sometimes to remind myself what roads not to take, the lessons from my mistakes, and most of all, how far I’ve come since this time last year.”

The ups and downs and ebbs and flows of life are normal. Comparing life to a roller-coaster, a wise friend messaged me and said “If you think about it, when roller-coastering, you start that downhill run and it accelerates very quickly, and then you immediately sling-shot back onto the upward climb which is slow and steady and full of great anticipation! So yes, you are allowed to go up and down, like a roller-coaster…quickly sling-shotting into a long upward climb of joyful anticipation! Just stay on the track, no going off the rails.”

Don’t give up. I promise you, if I can be where I was last year to where I am now, just 12 months later…..then so can you!

Just stay on the tracks and don’t go off the rails.